Get TWI: Texting While Intoxicated on the iTunes AppStore!

-31
Up Down
(720): Dude that sex was as good as a snickers bar
(303): I'm allergic to peanuts

Posted Feb 09 2010 @ 12:45am | 58 Comments

You must login to Facebook to post a comment.
Posted by Jake P. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:46am

Mmm. Snickers...

Posted by Jake P. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:47am

Hi people.

Posted by SlangDang J. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:48am

Lame! How can u compare sex to candy?

Posted by Thegirlwith G. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:52am

They call me jollyrancher cause I stay so hard u can suck me for a long time omg. I

Posted by Buster H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:48am

I like a Snickers.

Posted by Ashley R. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:48am

Lmao!!! I like twix better though

Posted by Cody K. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:51am

YES•

Posted by John M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:54am

I never tried twix

Posted by Ashley R. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:56am

.....fail!!! You need to try it it's delicious

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:49am

Sucks for u snickers are the bomb digity

Posted by Jake P. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:52am

Yup•

Posted by Chunli T. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:18am

Don't forget snicker bar ice cream toooo. Yuuummmyy.

Posted by Jake P. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:34am

Vvv that vvv

Posted by Ryan J. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:49am

Milky ways are the shit js

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:50am

Mmm the dark ones!!

Posted by Keebler E. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:51am

SNICKERS BITCH!!!

There are 9 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Nunchucks M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:50am

Amanda and apimpnamedslickback have a very valid point. Buuuuut I'm more with apimpnamedslickback.

Posted by Cody K. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:50am

Twix is way better

Posted by Sean W. on Feb 09 2010 @ 4:14am

And kitkat

Posted by Sean W. on Feb 09 2010 @ 4:15am

I love the coffee twix they had as ltd rls

Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:52am

yo guys...does anyone else get the urge to pee when they get in shower? the moment i step into the shower, i have to pee. pool too. but not if i get caught in the rain though. strange :/

Posted by Buster H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:54am

Let's me guess, you get out of the shower to pee????

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 12:54am

No I do too!! Or when I play hide and seek and I'm hiding... I suddenly have to piss

There are 29 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Wolf M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:05am

Butterfinger blizzard

Posted by Jake P. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:08am

7 pm and the wife is already exhausted and going to bed.. Is this normal?

Posted by Buster H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:10am

How long you been married?

Posted by Wolf M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:11am

Is she morbidly obese and suffering from sleep apnea(sp?), or trying to avoid fucking you?

There are 33 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:21am

go to a brazilian store and buy this white chocolate called "galak". get ready to experience oral orgasm

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:22am

U have mentioned this once before a while back.. But there is no brazillian store near me

Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:23am

thats so sad :/
youre missing out on good shiz

There are 20 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Chunli T. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:22am

Snickers bar/ice cream is the key to my heart. No lie.

Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:23am

that thing is tits. i love it.

Posted by Goldens H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:24am

Tits is the key to my snickers bars.

There are 56 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Stephanie J. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:30am

Off to get my tat!!! *stu's voice* byyeeeee

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:31am

Wooo pics afterwards!!!!

Posted by Goldens H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:31am

Omg I want another! Can I come along?

There are 5 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Brenton M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:35am

TWIX KICKS SNICKER ASS

Posted by Chunli T. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:35am

You are kind of a fail. Js.

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:36am

Nooo way Jose

There are 2 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Christy B. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:37am

Am I the only one finding these posts really un funny today?

Posted by Kyler L. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:40am

were you expecting something funny?

Posted by Below M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:40am

You are not alone. I go in the mods and it's depressing.

There are 2 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Kyler L. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:42am

Something amusing

Posted by Carlton I. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:42am

Another foot of snow tomorrow :/

Posted by Kyler L. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:44am

Lucky, we cant even get an inch

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:44am

We have 5 inches coming this way urgh :(

There are 16 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Zac C. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:47am

I just had 3 Musketeers. I feel like such a slut.
-Wait, whut?

Posted by Goldens H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:49am

Dirty dirty whore you. That sounds so good right now.

Posted by Below M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:03am

3 musketeers are the greatest candy bars ever.

Posted by Fazir J. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:04am

Lol••

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:48am

Almond joys and milk duds are my all time fav!

Posted by Jake P. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:59am

I hate coconut

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:02am

Love it!!!

Posted by Jake P. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:13am

The smell bothers me

Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:52am

fuck yessssss. no classes again. you guys dont understand how this excites me. i had no class fri an today due to snow. and not tomorrow ^_^

Posted by Gina H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:53am

Samesies here :) I feel u the best

Posted by Carlton I. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:58am

Nice. Jealous v

There are 5 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Zahra H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:54am

TETRIS!

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:55am

I fucking Rock at tetris!! I'll school
Anyone who challenges me! I'm
A beast at it!!!!!!!

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:55am

<---- natural born tetris player

There are 4 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Gavinn J. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:55am

All you mother fuckers wanna fight?

Posted by Hoai V. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:01am

Lets gp

Posted by Goldens H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:58am

has to get ready to go kill bad guys. Bye ppl. Sorry if that was annoying, I was just really bored. ;P

Posted by Jame S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:59am

Ur a cop?

Posted by John M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 1:59am

What bad guys?

There are 26 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Fazir J. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:01am

Guess who!?!

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:05am

Ohai!!!

Posted by Fazir J. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:07am

How u doinn?

There are 25 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Hoai V. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:04am

Fuck me

Posted by Hoai V. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:04am

Niggers r black :)

Posted by Fazir J. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:08am

Sand niggas are brown.

Posted by Craig H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:09am

V a gay sand faggot

There are 8 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Craig H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:10am

sup faggots? its the sherminator

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:14am

Gtfo rush

Posted by Craig H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:17am

Why dont you faggot. Gof ap over hoai

There are 10 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Pj E. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:16am

satisfactory?

Posted by Chunli T. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:21am

My fb app isn't working right. Wtfeeesh.

Posted by Jake P. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:23am

Shake your phone

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:24am

That really works ??

There are 9 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Jame S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:27am

Hey Goldens, I really don't like u meow :(

Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:28am

found out shes a dude?

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:29am

Allergic to nuts?

There are 8 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Tyler C. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:30am

Fags r gay

Posted by Sarah D. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:55am

Only cuz you bent over

Posted by Jake P. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:30am

Bazinga

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:31am

What is something you wish you could do but can't?

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:31am

Ride a unicycle

Posted by Chunli T. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:32am

Fly a helicopter.

There are 34 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Nikki M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:33am

I want a snickers

Posted by Jame S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:38am

I want a butterfinger

Posted by Nikki M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:41am

I want anything candybar

There are 3 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Kat E. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:35am

I can totally relate ... Some chocolate is so good ... It's enough for me to gorge instead of sex.

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:35am

Def!!!

Posted by Jake P. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:37am

You need better sex

There are 9 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Keana H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:38am

Hey (:

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:39am

JAMES!!!

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:39am

*keana!
How are you?

There are 8 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Robin T. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:41am

Condoms don't always do their job
Recently, a study published in the authoritative sounding "Contraceptive" magazine found that the good ol' withdrawal method was more or less as effective as condoms at preventing pregnancy. This is either proof the typical guy has a lot more self-control than we'd have guessed, or that when it comes to condoms, a lot of folks are quite literally doing it wrong.

Posted by Nikki M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:43am

I think that's true for grown men. But younger ones I don't think do it on time in many cases.

Posted by Chunli T. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:43am

Meh. I don't like condoms.

There are 9 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by John M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:46am

Holy shit, is anybody else watching 24?

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:46am

Yep•

Posted by Below M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:56am

Never watched it.

There are 4 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Nikki M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:46am

I have to admit something. I've only looked through the mod section once since they told us to quit posting nudes. I am a perv & I like Law & Order SVU.

Posted by Nate S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:47am

haha win

Posted by Gina H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:47am

I second what Nikki just said... Kinda miss the nudes. I'd look at the tits and compare them with my own lolzypoo I also watch svu and criminal intent

There are 7 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Sarah D. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:50am

Snickers are the shit but you have all forgoten the Penut butter cups

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:52am

Reeses are so good but there's not enough in a pack. I mean 3 in each pack like wtf? Its almost as bad as Twix that only have two sticks in each pack.

Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:52am

yea•

There are 14 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Jennifer S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:56am

??SAINTS??

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:58am

And look who's back. The bumble bee.

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:58am

Whos that

There are 30 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Karl L. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:59am

Vancouver 2010... Do you believe?

Posted by Sarah D. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:01am

I believe in monsters

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:04am

I do too... But not the monsters that would hide under my bed or in my closet as a kid.

There are 16 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Jake P. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:08am

Nikki, did you get my MSG? I didn't stop to think that you may get more than enough in a days time.

Posted by John M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:14am

EVERYTHING has MSG in it

Posted by John M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:15am

Well, everything at Chinese restaurants

There are 20 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Cody K. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:14am

Lesbian truckers

Posted by Brenton M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:15am

I saw that also

Posted by Cody K. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:18am

Lol some1 getting banned

Posted by Devin W. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:25am

Let's go to Vegas and kill a hooker

Posted by Hose G. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:29am

Urthehooker,k?

Posted by Devin W. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:31am

Trickfor$5?

There are 4 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Mariam M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:29am

I'm not sure if shady's on... But snickers suck ass. Kind of like your mom last night.

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:31am

Bam!!!•

Posted by Shady S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:31am

Take it back bitch

There are 7 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Zahra H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:33am

york patties are yumm. i like to get one after i go skiing it makes me feel like i live in Antarctica idk why..

Posted by Hose G. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:37am

Coolstorybruh.

Posted by Stephanie J. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:39am

One bite and I'm done b

There are 4 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Stephanie J. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:36am

This doesn't hurt :)

Posted by Chunli T. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:37am

Heehee I'm a stalker... What kind of a tat did you get?

Posted by Stephanie J. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:38am

He's doin it as we speak :) gettin three tulips and a heart/peace sign. Then he's gonna touch up the one on my foot

There are 11 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Ashley G. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:41am

I want chocolate now! Haha

Posted by Mariam M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:42am

Ashley!

Posted by Mariam M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:44am

Lol lame pick up lines are always a win. Hey Ashely, you're still pretty as usual.

There are 2 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Mariam M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:42am

Zac! Come hither!

Posted by Shady S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:44am

Hi•

Posted by Shady S. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:46am

I hope I tricked u.

There are 15 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Aashna C. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:47am

Peanut butter jelly time!!

Posted by Dinora D. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:47am

The ice cream bars are better

Posted by Chunli T. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:48am

I agree. Sooooooooooooooooooooo much. With. You.

Posted by Dinora D. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:51am

I want one

There are 7 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Below M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:48am

I walked into the local convenience store and the owner was behind the counter___________

Posted by Devin W. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:49am

jerking his weenis

Posted by Chunli T. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:49am

Getting humped by a elephant.

There are 11 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Darwin O. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:54am

picklecakes ftw!!! :D
waaaay better than snickers.

Posted by Devin W. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:55am

WTF is a picklecake?

Posted by Keana H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 3:59am

Wtf??

There are 2 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Wolf M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 4:01am

I finally got words 4 friends. I'm "wolfmanish" feel free to add me, just lemme know who u are first

Posted by Chunli T. on Feb 09 2010 @ 4:03am

I'll peob forget by tomorrow. So if you have time too I'm chelle on there. Go easy on me though, idk English.

Posted by Gina H. on Feb 09 2010 @ 4:06am

I'm scared u eat me alive ;(

There are 2 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Below M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 4:15am

I was on a flight from Philly to Dallas halfway through I get up to go to the bathroom and I open the door to see____________

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 09 2010 @ 4:16am

A terrorist with bombs stuffed in his underpants.

Posted by Below M. on Feb 09 2010 @ 4:17am

So I kicked him in the balls and__________

There are 4 more replies. Click here to load them.
Posted by Brittney C. on Feb 09 2010 @ 4:16am

Need a moment?
Chew it over with TWIX

Posted by Michelle R. on Feb 09 2010 @ 7:25pm

I'm allergic to chocolate.

Posted by Joshua C. on May 16 2010 @ 5:56pm

Man life must suck when ur allergic to peanuts