(956): I didn't want to get out of bed

(479): The devils out tonight!!!!

(760): "fuck marines" ummm you did last night "and y'all always leave me sore and alone"

(619): I wish I woulda got an after picture

(1-555): Im gonna rape you in the asshole with my dildo
(555): Uhm...eww.
(555): Wait. Why do you have a dildo?
(1-555): To rape you with(1-;

(330): Lol Crazy

(225): If I die before I wake, pray the lord my soul to take...

(904): I think Jesus stopped by this place.

(650): Out of beer!

(240): YOLO...

(806): Ok I'm headed there. I wish my dogs had a cell phone so I could text them and remember if I fed them or not.

(205): How did you manage to shit in the tub and in the sink?!!
(334): Did I hit the toilet too?
(205): Amazingly, no. I get to fuck your sister and we are even?
(334): Deal.

(225): Harassing my boss.

(631): Lol

(940): Awkward